Have to vs. Getting to
Have you ever taken a step back and realized how blessed we are to be given LIFE?
Take a moment to do that before you read on. Please.
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Since the beginning of May, I have been in a funk with running. I ran my half marathon and was overall happy with how it went, but then I just didn't have the desire to run. I put it on my weekly schedules, but when the days came I always made an excuse to not do it. I found myself saying "UGH, I *have* to run tonight..." with an eyeroll almost every time.
I didn't love running anymore. I was burnt out and not allowing myself to get a break. So I decided to not run a marathon this year like originally planned and thought I was OK with that decision, but I had a change of heart a few weeks ago. I thought I could fit it in somehow, so I put my runs back into my calendar because I thought if I kept my registration and just trained a little bit I could pull it off, right?
That was a mistake.
The "I *have* to run" statements came back in full force and I only ran 3 times in June. THREE TIMES!!! That is insane, especially after so many months of running 50+ miles last year; I went down to less than 10. I felt like it was a chore, like I was being forced to do something and needed to punish myself if I didn't get it done. That is NOT how you should treat fitness....EVER!!!
I was sabotaging myself and needed to make a change.
So, last week I was looking at my calendar and realized that my next half marathon, the River Run (one of my favorites), is 9 weeks away. NINE WEEKS....holy cow. That hit me and sunk in pretty hard. 9 weeks is not a lot. I may be in shape, but I'm not in running shape, so I sat down and made my new plan for half marathon training--it was instant relief from that guilt and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!
It's crazy how a simple mindshift can change your attitude and outlook. Now when I go for a run, I say "I *get* to run today!", because I'm excited to build myself back up to half marathon shape. I want to PR this race so badly, which means I really have to work hard over the next 9 weeks to make it happen. And I will :)
But, man oh man....words are tough. And once I changed my mindset things got so much easier....but it took weeks to get there. So I need to continue to remind myself that running is a blessing that I get to do; I don't have to do it but I want to. So many people in this world don't have the ability to run OR walk, and I need to keep this in my mind as I run every single time.